I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
is that a dick in a sweater?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
