I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
