we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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