I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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