Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
