So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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