i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
