well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
My hand turned me down
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
