Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize