i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Randomize
