There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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