He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
