i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
COCAINE IS GR8
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
