Will you blow on my dice?
We got so high we made milksteak
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
