i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
