Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
