The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
