I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
