Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
