I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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