So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
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Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."