I bet he comes in French.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.