so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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