I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.