I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
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I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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