i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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