Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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