actually, I'm a sock model
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
