I don't think brook has ever known best
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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