$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
