I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
