READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
