He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
