Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize