I feel great
I just peed on a car
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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