My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize