remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
