Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
