Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize