Well apparently he's into motor boating.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
All I want is dick and wine.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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