sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize