Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
