The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
