Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
