her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Dignity is for republicans.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
