Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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