...so i touched it.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Randomize
