mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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