why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
