you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
