Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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