The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
