wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I'm really busy with my period
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