I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
