Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
