Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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