U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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