I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
The feeling are messing with the penis
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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