He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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