just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
