after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
there is puke in my bra ... again
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