Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Then you guys just all showered together...?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
