Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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