VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
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