I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Randomize
