Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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