i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
