well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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