fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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