Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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